Communicating the Relationship

Communicating the Relationship

by Dexter Valles

Communication is often referred to as a two way street. Listening is more critical than speaking. Body language and tone of voice speak many times more than the words we use. Listening with the heart and the head helps deliver empathy. A key ingredient.

All pointing towards paying genuine and sincere attention to the other. Communicating value.

Creating in the process, the right relationship based on mutual respect for people and their opinions, points of view, what they value and believe in, their realities and their interpretations of the world we live in. Consequently, both speaker and listener are equal partners in getting the best results from the communication.

Acknowledging each other gracefully is the essential first step to the relationship being created.

Easier said than done.

In today's instant world, it seems that everyone is in a rush to be acknowledged on a largely one way street. The novelty of communicating in many wondrous ways thanks to technology has served to mesmerise people with themselves. Almost narcissistic in a way, in the age of selfies, its more important to express and impress at the same time, repeatedly, incessantly, without much concern about the response.

Take a look at whatsapp, facebook, twitter, instagram and the like. Once posted, feedback is not really welcome and if received must always fit into the author's point of view. Narrow though it may be. Its not even important anymore to know or even acknowledge what the other has said or posted or tweeted or whatever. Responses are rarely towards the end goal of the original communicator. Its a window to present ourselves using the opportunity as a pole vaulter does. To vault across the topic without touching it.

Unlike what we know as useful, to read, listen, understand and then respond, people seem to be firing on all cylinders in the race to populate the space with whats important to them, often presented as whats important or should be important to the world. No longer to examine, understand and fit fragments of realities together. No longer to constructively discuss or debate. No longer to rearrange how we think and act with the welcome influence of how others think about the very same thing.

The pendulum has swung and stuck. Personal realities are frozen in a frenetically speeding time of a metamorphic world !! A hardwired circuit to a hair trigger relationship detonator.

Little wonder why relationships have become more competitive than collaborative. More sharply focussed on self than dispersed to include others. More Me than We.

So where does that leave friendships, family, team work, communities and organisations ?

You tell me.